Below is a guest piece written by Zeus DreamCaster. Thanks for sharing your thoughts man. =)
What do you think about what Zeus is saying? Have you ever lied to yourself and tried to justify your homosexuality or sexual identity?
This time I have an opinion about as issue that I am sure very few had talked about it before. But I found out the best way to say it is through a short story.
Once, I had a gay friend of mine who was telling me how much he cried in the church during the mass. According to him, the way he felt when he was inside made him realize that he should change his life (Pathetic Lie # 1), stop having gay relationships (Pathetic Lie #2), deactivate his Manjam and Grindr (Pathetic Lie # 3), and last but not least, silence his gay instinct (Pathetic Lie # 4). As a close friend, I supported him, approved the decisions he had made, and helped him reach his target.
For my surprise, and only few weeks after this happened, he was telling me about how desperate he is to have sex with a guy (Truth # 1), and that he is seriously thinking about having a sex partner (Truth # 2). Again, as a close friend, I told him to think about it very well before taking any serious decision that he might regret later on.
When I think about this story now, I do not feel but sadness and pity for that friend.
Some people wonder why Lebanese gays are “mafsoumin”, but they do not know how much pathetic they are. The pathetic lies they tell to themselves after listening to lectures done by their priest, or cheikh, or teacher. Besides, the way they try to analyze their personalities and project their decisions is much more pathetic.
What they need and what we all need is to come to terms with our true selves. Just look in the mirror and tell the person you see that you accept him as he is. No one is a saint, and no one is a devil. How do you want people to stop judging you, if you judge yourself first? God will never judge you! According to all religions, God has chosen human beings, among all other species, to be blessed with his love and care. Thus, why do you want to complicate your life? You are the ultimate creation of this world, act like it!
You want to have sex? Just do it. You don’t like Lebanese gays? Stop dating them. People just be true to yourselves before wasting people’s time with your pathetic lies and facts. Stop hiding behind your fingers thinking that you can deceive the sun.
Humans, by nature, have physical needs. So satisfy them, and act normal about it. Don’t dramatize and make a huge fuss out of it. Discover the source of your needs, so that you can overcome them.
Years ago, I had sexual relationships with several guys, and I used to come back home, cry and shower for hours thinking this will cleanse my sins. However, with time I realized that my sins are present only in my mind. I was afraid to see my truth. I was afraid to discover that I was weak and afraid. That I need anything, which was sex at that time, to bring me closer to a man. Interestingly, when I came to terms with myself, I understood my fears and overcame them. I did not have sex for like four years after this.
To cut a long story short, I want to conclude with a quote for Budda. He said, “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”
Search for your inner peace by yourself. Believe me, no one cares whether you find it or not. Do it and save yourself from the rotten apocalypse awaiting us.
Written by Zeus DreamCaster
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