You Know Nothing, Beirut Boy

After 7 years of livin’ la vida gay

After 601 published posts

After coming out (and being outed) to my family

After falling in love 3 times

After dumping and getting dumped 6 times

After 70 nights of getting shit-faced at a gay club

After weeks of waitressing and serving hundreds of drunk lesbians

After 2 years of non-stop hustling at my day job

After 60 blowjobs

After 11 ecstasy pills and 65 Marlboro Light packs

After 100 kisses, 20 fucks, 2 orgies, 75 one night stands

I can honestly say that I’ve learned absolutely nothing.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I have learned how to take dick pretty well. But that’s about it.

The more I feel, the less I know.

The more I go out, and live, and love, the more I realize I know nothing.

I can give life advice and relationship tips to you and my friends all day long, bass walla, I’m just as clueless as you are.

And you know what? We’re 20-something, we’re gay, we live in Lebanon, under abnormal circumstances. We’re not supposed to know everything. We’re supposed to be beautifully complex (otherwise known as “fucked up”) creatures who know absolutely nothing. This is the time for loving hard, hating harder, living fast, trial and error (lots of error), bad decisions, regrets, and the occasional wonderful surprises.

So here’s to all of us, who know absolutely nothing.

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Bro

Spent years wondering how I’d come out to you.

Scenario 1: I’d drop the bombshell at your wedding. Yes, at the altar. “Bro, I’m gay. But think of it this way, I’d never put you through the torture of being the best man”.

Scenario 2: At our parent’s funeral. I figure you wouldn’t punch me in the face while you’re crying.

Scenario 3: You’d walk in on me fucking a guy. Well, in that case I wouldn’t have to come out.

Little did I know it would happen when I least expected it: at my party. I wanted you to come for a reason: to let you into my world. But I never thought I’d have the balls to come out to you then. Guess I still wasn’t ready.

So all these gay people are sitting on the stairs. My gay friends are dancing. And you’re sippin’ on a drink, telling me: “Wow… that’s a lot of gay people”.

I couldn’t help it. The words just came out. “You know I’m gay right?”

And then you said the sweetest word a little brother could ever say. It really fills my heart with warmth.

“Duhhhhh”.

Then you laughed.

And that was it. I never thought one simple one-syllable word could bring me that much joy.

I don’t know how you grew up to be so open-minded and accepting of people around you (I’d like to think the Will and Grace episodes I exposed you to played a role) but I’m happy you are.

I really lucked out in the bro department. Here’s to you habibi.

May the Fastest (and Dirtiest) Readers Win

ATTENTION ALL GUTTER FANS:

So the first GUTTER party was definitely worth the dirt.

Now… two good news.

The first is that there is a second installment happening tomorrow (Saturday, December 21) at Old Raidy Printing Press in Gemmayze! 🙂 It’s called “The Movie Wrap-Up”.

Second piece of “good news”?

I’m giving away a 50% discount on every ticket purchased online…. to the quickest (and hopefully dirtiest) THREE readers. So instead of $30, you’ll be paying $15.

Step #1: Go to Ihjoz: https://www.ihjoz.com/events/251-gutter-the-movie-wrap

Step #2: Place your order. (You can order 10 tickets max)

Step #3: Use the Discount Code: beirutboy

Step #4: Press “Checkout”

Step #5: Go to GUTTER and find out why it’s “a party worth the dirt”.

This time around, GUTTER is not just a party, it’s a “platform for artistic expression”, with artists of different fields adding their flavor to this spectacle.

RSVP here: https://www.facebook.com/events/678946082136048/

GUTTER POSTER

Faking It

Let me pretend you’re not Syrian and travelin to Europe in a week. Pretend I’m not Lebanese and wishing I was back in Europe.

Pretend this isn’t a one night thing. A one afternoon thing. A two hour thing.

Pretend I don’t know I’m cute. That you’re the first guy to tell me I have a nice smile.

Pretend I don’t have gym after this. The only thing I wanna be lifting is you.

Pretend I’m not tired. I promise you I’m into this. No, I’m not drop dead exhausted after work.

Pretend I’m not sleeping. I’m just laying my head on the pillow seductively.

Pretend I’m ripped. Suck in my stomach a bit as I take off my shirt.

Pretend yours is the first dick I see. I haven’t had one taste so good before.

Pretend I don’t know where this is headed. This is not a one nighter. See the way I kiss you? It’s forever.

Pretend like I’m the first guy who touches you like that. Like I’m the only one who can make you cum like that.

Pretend that I’m into cuddling. I see it in the movies. See? I’m a total romantic.

Pretend that when I lay my head on your chest, I’m in love.

Pretend that I’m your boyfriend. If only for a minute.

Pretend that I’ve finally found the one.

Pretend that we’re in our own little heaven. Sleeping together in a room overlooking the Pacific. Not in an apartment you share with flatmates.

Pretend that after this, we’ll go out for a walk holding hands.

Pretend that I’m totally comfortable sleeping like that on your hand. Can’t you hear me breathing hard?

Pretend that I don’t have a runny nose. I don’t need a tissue. I sniff back the snot.

Pretend that this is intimacy. What I’ve always been looking for.

Pretend that when you kiss my hand, I get butterflies in my stomach.

Pretend that as I spoon you and sniff your hair, I’m surrendering. Breakin down the walls so many before you have built.

Pretend that I’m gonna see you again after this. It’ll be a dinner. Made by me. Candles and everything.

Pretend that the last kiss we share at the door isn’t our last. It’s only the beginning.

Not Like the Porn Movies

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Admit it.

Porn has tremendously helped your sex life .

A lot of the moves you do in bed are taken straight out of a porn movie.

The way you slap his dick on your face while you blow him. The way you scream “yeah… you like that?” while you fuck him. The way you cum on his face like that guy from Sean Cody.

Yes, we have those moments when we’re so thankful for porn stars.

But we forget that they’re not people.

Porn stars are robots. Fucking machines. Actors. They have big tools. They never lose their erection. They take hours to cum. They have clean hairless asses. They’re not us. They’re not real.

What I’m trying to tell you lovely gay boys is that it’s OKAY if there’s a malfunction sometimes.

Everyone loses their hard on. Happens with me and with the guys topping me. Happens more often than you think. It’s horrible, embarrassing, and you feel bad about yourself for days following the incident. But there’s nothing wrong with you. Performance anxiety is very common. Don’t be disappointed in yourself. You’re not a porn star. Porn stars pop Viagra like M&M’s (FYI… baby V is a miracle drug).

And everyone ejaculates prematurely at one point or another. It’s FINE. Congrats, you fit right in. You’re normal.

I swear, we’ve watched too many porn movies. We’re disappointed when the sex isn’t as amazing as the porn movie we watched last night.

Stop having high expectations when it comes to sex.

And remember… porn movies are just like romantic movies. The happy endings they paint are seldom found in real life.

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The Joy of Sucking

Think of all the people you’ve slept with.

There’s always that one guy who gave you the best head of your life.

He didn’t know where your dick had been that day. If you showered or not. He didn’t care if you peed just 30 minutes ago. He used his tongue. Opened his mouth for you. Inserted your hard on all the way in. Swallowed you so deep that you could feel his tonsils tickling the tip of your penis. You’re helpless. He has you by the balls. Literally. He spits on his right hand and massages your dick with it, while swallowing your balls. Then he gives you that pornstar look, that “I know you like it” look, and slaps your dick on his face. Then to finish it off, he gives you the greatest gift someone could ever give another person. Not an iPhone. Not a car. Not love and affection. He allows you to orgasm while you’re inside of him. You cum in his mouth while he sucks you. He swallows it all. Not one single drop is missed. He swallowed it all when you came. You’re euphoric. You spend the next 5 minutes laughing. Giggling like a 4 year old girl. Smiling. Orgasming.

If you think you’re the only one who got joy from that blowjob… you’re mistaken. He loved it even more. He’s so good at sucking dick because he loves it. Doesn’t matter if you suck him back. Blowing is enough to give him joy. The smell of dick is enough to satisfy him.

I dedicate this post to every single cock addict out there (myself included) who sucks not for the fuck of it, but for the love of it.

You see, it takes more than just putting a dick in your mouth to be an excellent sucker. It takes practice. Takes dedication. But most of all, you have to be in love with dick.

Here’s to being in love with dick.

Traditional

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1) I would never have a threesome.
2) I would never be promiscuous.
3) I would never date someone who’s in a relationship.

Things I used to tell myself all the time. It’s weird, frightening even, how who you think you are changes right in front of you. How you would do stuff you never thought you’d do. How you break the rules you set for yourself.

I’m a very traditional person. At least, I thought I was. I still dream of settling down with a guy, being committed. I still believe in love. I still don’t accept the thought of sharing a lover with others.

I’m still very traditional. But I’m breaking all the rules I set for myself when I came out of the closet 6 years ago:
1) Had a threesome.
2) Slept with 3 guys last week.
3) Didn’t just date. Boned.

What I’ve learned from now on is to stop saying these sentences that start with “I would NEVER…”. Because I probably will. Who knows what tomorrow brings.

Rules change. So do people.

Nothing’s set in stone. Neither are people. Especially not gay people.

Whoever you turn out to be… it’s alright babe. It’s ALL right.