It’s really hard to tell if a guy likes you, isn’t it?
You buy self-help relationship books. You google “Is the guy I’m dating into me?”. You call your friend up at 2 a.m. asking for guy advice. All because you want to understand how a guy thinks. To know if he likes you. To understand what it means when he says “I’ll see you soon”. To decipher the ‘code’ when he puts his arms around your back during the date and says “thanks bro”.
But it’s time you knew that there is no code.
Men are simple.
Men are not complicated.
Neither am EYE.
So guys, if you ever date me, kindly remember the following 11 signs that scream “I don’t like you”.
I don’t like you when…
#1: I’m Not Replying to Your Manjam Message
You send your message again and again on dating sites. You send smileys, flowers, and dick pics. But I’m not interested. Get that.
#2: I see your picture and I Go Silent
We exchange emails/whatsapps and I see your picture. How can you expect to be with THIS when you look like THAT? I don’t have the heart to tell you you’re not my type. So I never reply. It’s not the horrible connection. It’s just that I don’t like you.
#3: When I Call You and You Never Hear From Me Again
I always do this to check if a guy has a feminine or manly voice. Eza khalis aw shedid 7alo. It’s not that I don’t like feminine boys. They’re my closest friends. But I never wanna fuck them. I like my men with a deep masculine voice. If after the phone call, I’m not BEGGING you to go out, I don’t like you.
#4: When I Say I Don’t Like You
Sometimes I have the guts to tell a guy he’s not my type. But even after I say so, some guys are just relentless and insist on chatting. Grow some dignity, bro.
#5: I’m Not Making Eye Contact
We’re at the club and you’re doing everything to get my attention. I’m not stupid. I can see it. But I’m not reacting because I don’t like you. Go away. If I like you, I’m dancing with you.
#6: I’m Not Asking You Out
If we’ve been chatting for a week and I’ve never asked you out, it’s not that I’m busy, it’s just that I don’t like you. If I liked you, I would do ANYTHING to meet you. Even if at 3 a.m.
#7: I’m Asking You Out
“Fuck, what did I just do?” is sometimes the first thing I ask myself after realizing how butt ugly my date is. So just because I did ask you out, it doesn’t mean I will again. Ever.
#8: I Don’t Fuck You
If you’re really my type and I like you, I would hint that we do it. I would hint that I’m good at giving head. I would hint that I’m horny. If after our date, you go home and jerk off in the bathroom instead of in my mouth, I don’t like you.
#9: I Fuck You
If I like you. I’m fucking you. But just because I’m fucking you, doesn’t necessarily mean I like you. I’ve slept with the most unattractive and fugly people…just because I was horny. It doesn’t mean I want anything more than getting a blowjob.
#10: If I Forget That I Have a Date
If I like you, I would never be late for our date. I would be there before you’re there looking like a million bucks. If you arrive at our date and I’m actually at home sleeping, it means I overslept, not JUST because I’m sleepy and tired, but also because I’m not interested enough and not nervous enough to stay awake to daydream about what you would look like in person.
#11: I’m Not Saying Good Morning
If I like you, you would be the first person I say hello to in the morning. If you’re always the one who’s starting the conversation, then I don’t want to chat. Because, say it with me…
I don’t like you.
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