His Epic Grindr Fails

So my friend was visiting Lebanon from the States last month. He would tell you eating at Roadster and ZwZ were the highlights of his trip, but I also know he secretly enjoyed the many facepalm moments courtesy of Grindr.

His fails put mine to shame. “Waiter at Moulin D’or”? Epicness.

Enjoy, and keep sending your epic Grindr fails to therealshit11@gmail.com. Because remember, your fail can make a difference. Well, not really. But it’ll make someone LOL. And that’s almost as awesome.

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Kareem (part 6 of 10)

Continued from Part 5

kareem 6

“Hi”.

I’m shocked. I don’t know what else to say.

He doesn’t say anything back. He looks at the floor for a while.

Then he looks up at me. “Hey”.

“Come in.”

“I…I don’t know if I should”.

“Just come in. We’ll talk inside”.

“We’ve done this a million times. I don’t know”.

“Then why are you here?”, I ask.

Silence.

“Get inside. Please”.

He enters. Reluctantly. Slowly. Dead man walking. He sits on the sofa.

“I’ll get you something to drink. One sec.”

I go into the kitchen, lean against the wall and breathe a sigh of relief.

He’s here. He’s here! I thought he didn’t want anything to do with me but… he’s here.

That means something. I better not fuck this up.

I go back inside.

“Here’s some ice tea. Your favorite”.

“Fun day, wasn’t it?”

I look at him. He’s holding one of the frames I’ve put on the table.

A picture of us acting goofy during a trip to the snow.

“I didn’t know you had this”, he continues.

“I do”. I nod.

“Why?”, he puts it back on the table.

“What do you mean why?”.

He answers: “You know in the year and a half that we’ve been together, I’ve only been to your place four times? This included. I’ve never met your mom or dad. So yeah… why? Why do you have that picture? Why do you do this to me? I feel like I know you but not really.”

I go sit next to him. “You do know me.”

He looks away. I put my hand on his shoulders which he’s trying to move away.

“You know me better than anyone I know”, I continue.

“How? You never let me in. I feel like you’re hiding a part of your life from me. I’ve waited so long for you to open up. I’m sick of trying.”

“Babe, if this is about me not seeing you enough, I’m sorry. I have my…”

“Studies”, he interrupts me.

“Yes, studies. University is very important to me”.

“Right… Don’t lie to me. Remember last time when I asked you where you were… you told me you were studying for a “big ass” exam. Ten minutes later I see you on the fucking street. Why would you lie to me. Why would you do that?”

“I’m sorry…”

“No, I don’t wanna hear your sorries, Kareem. Seriously… I hate that I give you second chances and third chances. And still, you keep doing the same shit.”

“Listen. I know… I know how you feel. You just have to understand… I fucking swear… I never meant to hurt you. You’ll probably never understand but you have to believe me… there are some things you shouldn’t know.”

“Why? What are you hiding? I wanna know. I’m your fucking boyfriend!”. He tears up. So immediately I start tearing up. I hate seeing him cry.

“Joe…You’ll know what I mean someday. Please. Just believe in me. When I keep stuff away from you and when I lie, and I know it’s bad and it’s unfair… but I do it for your own sake. You just have to believe me”.

I start crying. He comes closer and hugs me. We’re both sobbing.

“I’m sorry… I really wanna change… I do…You have to believe me”, I beg him.

I can feel his tears dropping on my back as we hug. I move back and hold his face with my hands and say “I love you”.

“Of course you do”.

We both smile with tears glimmering on our faces. I wipe his tears away.

“So…what now?”, I ask.

“Just try harder this time, okay?”, he says.

“I will”.

I hope this time, I can keep my promise.

“Listen… you should sleep here tonight. You’ve never slept over before…”

“No…it’s fine.”

“No… you should. I want you to”.

“Okay…”.

That night, Joe takes a shower at my house for the first time. We cuddle in my bed for the first time. We make love on my sheets for the first time. And he sleeps in my bed for the first time. And for the first time in months… I sleep like a baby.

I’m woken up by an alarm at 7 am.

A phone reminder that reads: “Charbel Sodeco 3 pm”.

I have 8 hours to decide if I wanna do this.

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Read Part 7 here.

Follow me on Twitter or Facebook to get updated on the latest parts.

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Album of the Year 2012

There was Madonna’s MDNA.

There was P!nk’s The Truth About Love.

Rihanna’s ummm… album(s).

But nothing compares to the masterpiece that is Lana Del Rey’s Born To Die.

No fillers. Every track is a killer.

Every song is a story. Bad boys. Drugs. Heartache. Summer love. Love on the road. Rebel without a cause. That voice.

This was Lana’s year.

When your brother, who doesn’t give a flying fuck about mainstream music asks you “Who’s that girl that’s singin that song?” and puts Videogames as his alarm for an entire year, you best believe this was Lana’s year.

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BORN-TO-DIE

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Pics sources: 1 2 3 4 5

Best 20 Songs of 2012

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Videogames – Lana Del Rey

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Where Have You Been – Rihanna

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Diamonds – Rihanna

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She Wolf (Falling To Pieces) – David Guetta feat. Sia

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Gang Bang – Madonna

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Starships – Nicki Minaj

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Take Care – Drake Featuring Rihanna

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Girl Gone Wild – Madonna

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Blow Me (One Last Kiss) – P!nk

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Born to Die – Lana Del Rey

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Birthday Cake – Rihanna Featuring Chris Brown

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Try – P!nk

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Don’t Wake Me Up – Chris Brown

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Brokenhearted – Karmin

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Turn Up the Music – Chris Brown

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Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself) – Ne-Yo

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Denis Naidanow feat. Juan Magan – Shuri Shuri

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Kat Graham – Put Your Graffiti On Me

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Marina & The Diamonds- How To Be A Heartbreaker

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Underneath – Adam Lambert

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He’s always been Sexiest Man Alive. Y’all Just Catchin Up.

So People Magazine has been fucking up big time in the past couple of years when it comes to picking the Sexiest Man Alive.

Johnny Depp? Ryan Reynolds? Bradley Cooper?

Ummm…no thanks.

Channing Tatum?

FUCK YEAH!

Agreed, approved, ship that fatherfuckin magazine to every man-lovin corner of the world.

Yes, People.

This is a MAN.

PS: Look at that ass

PSS: Can you believe the Selena/Justin headline on the far right? “OMG! They’re totally over”? Who TALKS like that? Is this a respectable magazine or what.

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Pic Source

Song of the Summer ’12

It starts off sounding like a theme song for an old Nintendo game.

Then peaks with the out-of-this-world and extremely high-pitch “just when it can’t get worse” bit that no one can emulate. Not me. Not you. And certainly not your wasted friend. Just P!nk.

This year’s song of the summer is: “Blow Me (One Last Kiss)”. Awesome, awesome song.

What’s yours?

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