Grindr used to be the best place to look for a quick fuck.
Now it’s the best place to look for a quick buck.
Cue the famous dollar sign smartly hidden in this guy’s nickname.
All I see is signs $ $
All I see is dollar signs $ $ $ $ $ $
What was once an app full of faceless torsos is now flooded with prostitutes.
But in the Lebanese gay scene, we call them “escorts”.
“Escorts” just sounds classier!
Hide your kids. Hide the guy you’ve been dating for four days but you call “boyfriend”.
They. Are. Everywhere!
There’s the top escort at a local restaurant…
The bottom escort…
The versatile escort… (They get paid the most because they are multi-skilled)
The “caps lock, exclamation mark, extra T escort”: ESCORTTTT!!!!!! (Beware of those. They’re feisty little ones and have nothing to lose. Chat with caution.)
In Grindr’s competitive market equilibrium, supply equals demand.
For every sex worker… there’s a “payer”.
What starts out as an innocent conversation at 10:52 pm turns into a nightmare.
You didn’t reply? No worries! 🙂
He. WILL. FIND. YOU.
And he will say it again!
Metel el sha3ra el bayda. You block one… five others appear.
And if you’re the proud owner of a juicy Lebanese uncircumcised cock, it’s your lucky payday!
Nevermind the haters who discriminated against you and called you “dirty” and “unhygienic” all these years. YOU’LL be the one laughing all the way to the bank with that foreskin of yours.
Hear that, mom? What the FUCK were you thinking when you listened to that Abouna?!
And in Lebanon, we love sharing.
We share our land. So we must share our clientele. It’s only fair…
(Translation: “I have to go to Ekhir-Ma3ammar-Rabna and I need a ride! Plus, I’ll pay you 250,000 Liras if you help me double penetrate this dude!”)
You read it right.
Eh Ma3o 7a22. Lesh ma menshajji3 el 3emleh el wataniyye?!
And so what if he’s getting paid $200 but is putting some money aside OUT OF YOUR SHARE to pay for his Grindr subscription? If that’s not smart, I don’t know what is.
Ba3d kel hal shee…you might ask me: “Tab shou kelmit elyom?”
Allow me to answer:
MA SARLEH SE3A 3AM BE7KE!!!
This post is in no way anti-escort or anti-big spender. Get your money. Get your dick. I’m just pissed that I’ve been giving away my ass for free all these years.