Open Relationships

Nabil and Joe are boyfriends. Living together. Nabil’s 37. He’s a hot bear. Has a 12 pack. And has a thing for young bears. Joe, not the best looking guy, is perfectly okay with that. In fact, it’s perfectly okay for Nabil to fuck a guy while Joe’s in the other room. If Nabil brings a guy to the house while Joe’s there, Nabil introduces the guy to Joe. “Hey Habibi…this is Bilal. Bilal, this is my boyfriend, Joe.” “Oh hey, Bilal! Nice to meet you. Yeah, yeah I’m actually an architect. And you?” Nabil fucks this guy hard while Joe’s working in the room next to them.

Ziad and Mohammad are boyfriends. Living together. Ziad’s 29. Sexy. Mohammad’s 28. Handsome. One night in February, Bilal knocks on their door. Ziad opens the door. “Heyyy! Kifak? Come in! Baaaabe…look who’s here!”. They were expecting him. A few shots later, the three of them are fucking.


These stories are true. Well, more or less. The names are different and I’m not sure about the ages or Joe’s “abs for days”.

Is this what a relationship is these days? Your boyfriend fucking someone else in the other room while you listen? Is that love? Or is it friendship?

“No stupid, it’s an Open Relationship”. Capital O and R. You know like when you capitalize G in god so you don’t piss people off. The term confuses me. If it’s a relationship, isn’t it supposed to be closed with a sign that says “Listen, this guy’s taken and he can only suck my cock”?

I’m liberal. Way too liberal. But my friends say I’m “traditional in relationships”. Well, is it really traditional to not want to share your guy? YOUR guy!

That said, you never know. Even though I can’t really understand it now, I might be in one of those relationships when I’m 37. Obviously I’m not in those people’s shoes so I don’t understand how they can do it. Or why. But I mean, I’d like to know. Really.

_ _ _

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6 thoughts on “Open Relationships

  1. witchylisa February 9, 2013 / 9:07 pm

    It’s not about age. It’s about liking one-night stands

  2. rudi February 9, 2013 / 11:52 pm

    Open Relationship is an excuse for childish couples. Of course we are men. We think nasty, but if I love someone, I dont want to share him, coz I simply love him. I guess there is still mess between “love” and “sex”. We really live in confused world.

  3. Zack Filo February 10, 2013 / 3:26 am

    Another flop ! ……. It’s true people change with time !!

    Sent from my iPad

  4. another1ofthose February 11, 2013 / 8:45 am

    well being a guy who tends to have a monogamous lifestyle, my opinion would be definitely biased. but still in my point of view open relationships are just excuses to have a taste of what your guy doesn’t have or can’t offer and i don’t think you would be with a guy for what he isn’t or for what he can’t offer. so in my opinion just dump the guy and get it over with. simple

  5. tknorn February 16, 2013 / 7:01 pm

    It’s very important to create a contract before jumping into a relationship of any kind. People DO change yes, that’s a very good point to mention. But at the same time, we all have expectations, let alone some nasty pet peeves, and it’s important to communicate those clearly and honestly, stay in dialogue. Both partners must dialogue until they reach consensus.

    The contract doesn’t have to be strict or official, but is a good starting point to express what you’re looking for, what bothers you, and what you expect from the other person. The best contract to start with is the friendship contract. A relationship is exactly like a friendship, the only difference being the sexual passion and the thrill of being close to the person, really. A friendships requires certain values, including (Respect, honesty, a separate identity (very important this one, one must never define themselves through their partners), positive emotional support, consent, warmth and comfort). These must be available as much as possible, some of these may be missing at times since no relationship is perfect, but it is important to always expect as much from the other person at all times, and to SAY what you feel is missing, or how your partner is not giving you one or more of these values.

    Another issue is probably one of the oldest stories in the book, Queers and heterosexuals alike are ALWAYS forced within society to label themselves and their practices. It’s a horrible trend where you must identify with what’s available, choose what’s available, and stick to its rules and methods. It’s a very heterosexist patriarchal practice, and despite us being queers, we very much internalize it into our daily lives. Ask yourself: Why must I label what we have as an open relationship if I’m feeling uncomfortable about it? Why must I force and pigeon-hole myself into this role box? Share those questions with your partner, ask them “What are we?” “What are we doing?” “What am I to you?”

    Know that it’s important to ask these questions and values, keeping them in mind, especially because they are often underrated or taken for granted in pop culture and hence society. It is EVEN exponentially better to create your own kind of relationship that works for you and your partner through this dialogue. A relationship where you don’t have to feel low self-esteem, or hurt. Always stand your ground, stay upfront and honest about it, because a relationship should be fun and easy, it mustn’t be forced or put up with.

  6. BGB April 7, 2013 / 10:59 pm

    Open relationship? Close it or break it up. I still cannot comprehend the difference between friends with benefits and an open relationship. isnt it the same?

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