Hi, my name is…

Rodolph?

Ahmad?

Abu Bakr?

No, no. Elie!

I swear, if i had a dime for every single time a gay guy told me his name was Elie.

A couple of weeks ago, I was chatting with this guy. Manly. Cute. My type.

He told me his name was… Let’s Call him Akhou Sharmouta.

So I chat with Akhou Sharmouta for a week before meeting him.

I ask him: “Listen, is your name REALLY Akhou Sharmouta? Cause I’ve been through that road before and I’m used to gays lying about their names!”

He tells me: “No, no! I swear! My name is Akhou Sharmuta!”

What am I to do? The guy’s 28 and I assume he’s outgrown the “lying about the name” phase. I believe him. Although it’s weird…who names their kid Akhou Sharmouta?

We go out on a date. We’re flirting. He’s cute.

Then at the end of the date, I accidentally bring up the topic of names and fake names. He doesn’t react and acts weird.

I suspect there’s something wrong and ask: “Wait, wait. Your name is Akhou Sharmouta, right”?

He says: “Well…not quite. I’m not Akhou Sharmouta”.

I didn’t see that one coming all over my face.

I drop him to his car and say sayonara.

I mean, seriously? What would I tell my kids? Daddy and Daddy met on Manjam and your daddy lied about his real name! How romantic!

ps: It’s still a mystery. He didn’t even have the decency to tell me his real name even after he was caught in a lie. Akhou Sharmouta? Akhou Manyouke? I would never know.

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Pics: 12

16 thoughts on “Hi, my name is…

  1. Mish October 10, 2011 / 11:03 am

    hahahaha love it! (the post not the lies😛 )

  2. Jay October 10, 2011 / 11:06 am

    My goodness… I’m usually fine with people giving out fake names on dating sites, but once you meet the person, it’s just not acceptable.

    I actually met someone at a bar a few weeks back, and we really clicked, and he insisted that he wanted to see me again soon, so we exchanged numbers and such.

    My friends later tell me his real name, and that he always gives out a fake name, and basically that I should stay away for many reasons.

    So, yeah, it’s not exclusive to dating sites. Some people just go around using a fake name in the scene, as part of their second life. Quite ridiculous.

    • BeirutBoy October 10, 2011 / 4:55 pm

      Halla2 the intention behind changin the name is what matters.
      If ur parents rly fucked u over with a bad name, i can understand. Bass mesh enno double identity. Shou ma bi kafina infisam?

  3. BiSexual October 10, 2011 / 7:29 pm

    hehehehehe LOL OMG i adore this post. you made me laugh from the bottom of my heart specially when you said : ” Let’s Call him Akhou Sharmouta “.

    you have a point there about the name ” ELIE”, i meet a lot of them BTW !!!!! midre lesh !!!!

    • BeirutBoy October 10, 2011 / 9:36 pm

      Elie’s are everywhere. Fake and real ones😉

  4. BilalWh October 10, 2011 / 9:44 pm

    Please let’s not forget the name “Jad” and “Rami” LOLL!!

    • BeirutBoy October 11, 2011 / 2:47 pm

      yes, Kamen lots of gay Jads out there! Represent!😛

  5. Ralph October 11, 2011 / 12:18 am

    “Who names their kid Akhu Chamoota?” = Hahahaha! But hey! Don’t blame him, he was probably in the closet or doesn’t want everyone to know he’s gay. He was afraid his name might come up somewhere. Still, he shouldn’t have lied to you twice. Anyway, keep on posting stuff like this, I enjoy reading them before going to bed.😉

    • BeirutBoy October 11, 2011 / 2:52 pm

      U read this b4 going to bed?!?
      NO bedtime story should have a “fuck” and “sharmouta” in it. lol

      • Ralph October 11, 2011 / 7:56 pm

        You got that right!😉

  6. Aline C October 12, 2011 / 9:16 pm

    I read your blog before bed too😛
    And haahahahaa akhou sharmouta, so many of those in the world. Who names their kid akhou sharmouta! lol

    • BeirutBoy October 13, 2011 / 10:47 pm

      Ah that’s nice to know😛

  7. Averroes October 19, 2011 / 12:29 pm

    LOL. Better than dating someone and discovering their real age after a few months! (happened twice!)

    • BeirutBoy October 21, 2011 / 11:53 am

      what’s up with ppl lying about their age!? That’s so immature.

  8. thepersiancloset January 3, 2012 / 7:11 am

    Well…to be honest I always use my middle name on dates, that way if the guy turns out to be a complete psycho he can’t track me down on facebook. But usually after the second or third date I give my real name.

    Btw what’s up with mideast guys and Manjam?! I can find any gay mideasties on other dating sites.

    And I heard Arab governments are using that site to hunt down gay men now, so be careful.

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