– I don’t believe in love, I believe in fucking. It’s honest, it’s efficient – you get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit.
– Word of advice, next time you have nuts in your mouth, suck, don’t chew.
– It’s Ok to like dick and it’s OK to like pussy. But not at the same time
– So many men. So Little Time.
– So are you coming or going? Or coming and then going? Or coming and staying?
– Ben needs more muscles like I need another cock.
– You have principles when you don’t have orgasms.
– Basic rule of advertising and eternal damnation: Once you sell your soul to the devil, he holds the copyright.
– If you don’t earn respect when you’re alive, you don’t deserve it when you’re dead.
– [to his mother] If I have to spend an eternity of eternities burning in hell, it’s better than spending one good day in heaven WITH YOU!
– (When asked if he’s ever been on a date) One. I ended up fucking the waiter.