Let Me In (part 5 of 8)

Continued from part 4

When Ahmad saw me, he looked like he had seen a ghost.

“Kifak?” was the only thing that came out of his mouth.

I could tell he was out of words.

“It’s okay. We’ll talk after you put something on”, I said.

“Umm. No, come inside”, he said, pointing to his bedroom.

I thanked his mom for the tea and followed him inside.

I enter the room. It’s small and neat. A Black Sabbath poster on the wall. An old guitar laying on the floor.

I’m looking around the room, picturing the way he sleeps, imagining the way he stands in front of the mirror as he puts on his hair gel, visualizing the way he used to study on his desk. I wanted to know him. I wanted to stroke his curly hair as he fell to sleep. I wanted to wake up next to him and cuddle in the morning. 

As I’m looking at the bed, I hear the door getting shut. I turn around to find Ahmad leaning against the door.

“What are you doing here?”, he asks.

“Look at you. You’re shivering. Get dressed”, I reply, looking around for a shirt he could put on.

“Why did you come here?”.

“I wanted to see you. I wanted to know why you aren’t answering my calls”.

“Maybe I don’t want to answer”.

“Then end it. End us. Don’t run away. Don’t be a coward”.

“I’m not a coward. I just…”.

“Then what is it? I thought our date went well. I thought you had a good time with me”.

“I didn’t. Listen… I don’t like you, okay?”.

“Bullshit. I saw the way you were looking at me”.

“It doesn’t mean shit! Now please, just…”.

“And what’s up with your mom? You told me she didn’t know you were gay”.

“She doesn’t”.

“Then why did she refer to you as sick?”

He doesn’t say anything back. His eyes were mixed with anger and tears.

He locks the door behind him, and slowly starts to approach me. I stay still, standing next to the bed.

My heart’s on overdrive. He keeps on walking towards me until we’re both standing opposite each other and there’s no place for him to walk but right through me.

We’re face to face. Eye to eye. Breath to breath. I had never been more confused in my life. I didn’t know whether he was going to hit me, kiss me, or both.

He raises his arm, and puts his shivering palm gently on my neck. His breaths are now faster and louder than before. With the palm of his right hand on my neck, he brings his head closer to mine, and kisses the other side of my neck.

I let out a heavy moan, a sigh of relief. He doesn’t hate me. He likes me. He likes me very much.

I move my head to try to kiss him but he turns his face away and pushes me onto his bed. He takes off his towel, and forces himself on top of me.

He starts kissing my neck again.

It felt so good.

He tears my shirt wide open and starts kissing my tummy. He trails his tongue from my stomach all the way up to my chest, breathing all over me. I wanted him inside of me.

As much as it felt good, something still didn’t feel right. I try to grab his head with my two hands, and said: “Look at me”.

He doesn’t respond. He keeps on kissing my chest, touching my crotch…

I say it louder: “Ahmad! Look at me!”

He stops kissing my torso, looks at me, and starts crying.

I swear it was the first time that boy had ever cried in his life.

“Shhh. Shhh. It’s okay habibi”, I comfort him.

He layed on top of me for a minute or two. Naked. Wet. Crying on my chest.

Then as his crying lessens, he says: “Walid. I didn’t want to get attached to you, because I know we can’t be together”.

“And why is that?”, I ask him. “What on earth would make you think that?”

“I’m just not the boy for you. It’s better if you found someone else”, he says.

“Don’t say that. You’re all I want in a guy. You’re perfect.”

“No… I’m not”, he moves away from me and sits on the side of the bed. “Just leave, Walid”.

I slowly get out of bed, and ask him: “Ahmad, are you sure you want me to walk out that door and never see you again?”

“I’m positive”, he answers.

Disappointed, I start buttoning up my shirt, turn away, and head to the door.

 “Walid”, he continues. “Please understand me. I am positive.”


Read Part 6 HERE

ps: “Let Me In” is a fictional story


pic: gettyimages.com

27 thoughts on “Let Me In (part 5 of 8)

  1. Jimmy March 17, 2011 / 6:40 pm

    I KNEW it would turn like that 😉

    • BeirutBoy March 18, 2011 / 12:00 pm

      hehe gr8! we’re on the same page then!

  2. Anonymous March 17, 2011 / 6:45 pm

    ughhh it’s teasing how u keep us waiting 😦 😛
    I thought at first he was being that way because he practiced prostitution despite himself :p it turned out more tragic… Fantastic story, keep up the good work… can’t wait for part 6 🙂

    • BeirutBoy March 18, 2011 / 12:01 pm

      Thanks for ur continuous comments and support 😉

  3. Mi7tar March 17, 2011 / 6:53 pm

    OMG he is an HIV positive ya 7raaaaaaaam Ana law mkank ra7 akon m3o anyway 😦

    BTW nset 2lk ino alGuy elly fe alpic look like one of my straight friends 😛


    • Mi7tar March 17, 2011 / 6:57 pm

      When R U going to post the NXT part ?

      Btw mits 2jt bel 3’lt 😦

      Y3ny it dosen’t mean any fuckin thing

      God I hate my IPhone :@

      • BeirutBoy March 18, 2011 / 12:02 pm

        Today! Hope you like the conversation that will happen between them…

        (Thankfully, I like simple and old phones =P)

  4. Grit March 17, 2011 / 7:03 pm

    Wow. I thought he’d turn out to be a prostitute or something.

    • BeirutBoy March 18, 2011 / 12:08 pm

      Hmmm… didnt think of that one… =P

  5. Aline C March 17, 2011 / 7:04 pm

    nooo 😦 I’m so sad. seriously 😦

    • BeirutBoy March 18, 2011 / 12:07 pm

      Hopefully like u said, maybe it’s a happy ending…

      • Aline C March 18, 2011 / 3:08 pm

        It better be a happy ending mr! 😛

  6. Escapist March 17, 2011 / 7:14 pm

    Ah, knew it 😉
    Loving where this is going. Good writing stuff.

    • Mish March 17, 2011 / 7:25 pm

      i liked the “I wanted to wake up next to him and cuddle in the morning” part, ana hek bfakkir :p

    • BeirutBoy March 18, 2011 / 12:07 pm

      I knew u guessed it last time =P

  7. Mish March 17, 2011 / 7:17 pm


  8. Aline S. March 17, 2011 / 7:40 pm

    With the right care and treatment and great amounts of true love, things could get better!!

    Besides, you know well not to leave him. So there’s definitely hope 🙂

    Actually there’s always hope.
    But anyway, great story… (I’m still pretending it’s non-fictional. I wonder at what part (if any) you’ll get me to stop :P)

    Keep it up :D!

    • BeirutBoy March 18, 2011 / 12:06 pm

      Nah I think you’re gonna keep thinking it’s non fiction till the end 😛

      hehe. Thanks for ur comment Aline 🙂

  9. Lebanon Rebel March 17, 2011 / 7:45 pm

    My first thought after I finished reading this: “I would like to have these two as my best friends.” but I doubt that’s surprising.

    • BeirutBoy March 18, 2011 / 12:04 pm

      Hehe. That’s so sweet of u to say L.R.

  10. BiSexuals March 17, 2011 / 7:49 pm

    this case went through my mind but i wanted to discover it from you. i got upset for what is going on in the story 😦

    BTW, i liked 2 phrases in this part:

    1 – “I’m positive”, he answers. you played on words and this is a good sign that you are a good writer 😉

    2 – ” He tears my shirt wide open and starts kissing my tummy. He trails his tongue from my stomach all the way up to my chest, breathing all over me. I wanted him inside of me. ” OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG you made me rewind that moment with that guy that once i dated !!!!

    and just for the record, you told his mother that your name is Walid and that you are his friend from work. BUT is that the same name that you told for Ahmad???? cause he was talking to you as WALID 😉

    waiting # 6

    • BeirutBoy March 18, 2011 / 12:04 pm

      Yes, the character didnt lie about his name 🙂 IT’s Walid.

      And thanks for liking those details! MEans a lot.

  11. Christine March 18, 2011 / 10:33 am

    Damn… that was hot! Definitely NSFW 😉

    • BeirutBoy March 18, 2011 / 12:03 pm

      Guilty. I got excited myself as i was writing that one. (A)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s